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Ponynet

Typical Newfoal

The Rules of the Ponynet were created on /oat/ in April. They are a moral code for bronies and especially g/oat/s to abide by. These rules are based of the the rules of the infamous 4chan rules of the internet.

They are as follows:


New Rules of the Ponynet

  1. -2: YOUR NAME IS NOW DAVE!
    # -1: Doctor Whooves traveled back too far in time.
    #0000000: Celestia get(not really).
    #1: Feel free to talk about ponies.
    #2: POST PONIES!!!
    #3: We are bronies.
    #4: Bronies are friends.
    #5: Bronies generally do not forget, but will always forgive.
    #6: Bronies have the potential to be horrible, senseless, uncaring monsters... but aren't.
    #7: Bronies always deliver.
    #8: There are no real rules about posting (besides the ones already posted).
    #9: There are no real rules about the Spoiler and NSFW buttons either, enjoy your ban.
    #10: If you enjoy any rival sites, post links in /www/.
    #11: Oatmeal is crazy. COMPLETELY. INSANE.
    #12: Do NOT challenge Fluttershy to a staring contest!
    #13: Steven Magnet is and always will be more fabulous than you. But you're beautiful too.
    #14: Party hard!
    #15: If it exists, there's pony of it
    #15.5: If pony of it cannot be found, it must be made
    #16: Always add streamers.
    #17: Do not read 'Cupcakes'
    #18: Do NOT read 'Cupcakes'.
    #19: If 'Cupcakes' has been read, do not post anything about 'Cupcakes'
    #20: THAT INCLUDES THE SHADED PIC GODDAMNIT!!!
    #21: Even lurking in a pony thread makes you a Brony, welcome to the Herd.
    #22: RAINBOW DASH IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
    #23: From now on use the bold font.
    #25: This rule comes before Rule 24 at all times.
    #24: See? Told you!
    #26: Just kidding, I posted Pinkie Pie.
    #27: Just kidding again, Gilda roasted Pinkie Pie
    #28: Stop feeding the parasprites! Fluttershy can feed the parasprites, though.
    #29: A tuba is needed, and a banjo if you can find it.
    #30: Joining the Conversion Bureau is optional.
    #31: Shrug pictures are always appropriate.
    #32: Her name is Derpy Hooves, not Ditzy Doo.
    #33: Hitler is a respectable and cherished member of the community.
    #33:.5 His reaction towards non-bronies is frowned upon, though.
    #34: If it exists, there's pony of it, and the other way around.
    #35: What did I say about that NSFW button?
    #36: You can get through a religion thread without arguing.
    #37: Convert or Consume! So says demon-possessed Pinkie Pie.
    #38: For the sake of all ponies around you, do NOT attempt to make Rarity whine!
    #39: Statler and Waldorf love Rarity, no matter what they say.
    #39.5: You see that? Those tiny horses made a rule about us! dooooooohohoho
    #40: This rule is as many as four tens. And that's ok.
    #41: Needs to be 20% cooler, no exceptions.
    #42: Pinkie Pie is free to break the 4th wall, and it is steadily loosing containment.
    #43: Know the difference between a tree and a pony. It will save your life one day.
    #44: The difference between a tree and a pony is that a tree is yellow with pink hair and is much cuter.
    #45: The dogs wanted whining.
    #46: When Fluttershy drops her balls, so do you. No exceptions.
    #47: Star Trek is relevant to Pinkie Pie: You will get Pinkied. Resistance is futile.
    #48: Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows!
    #49: Rainbow Dash is not a lesbian unless it aids the joke, story, or Shipping thread.
    #50: Please don't post pony porn. Every time you do a Fluttertree gets chopped down. (refer to #35)
    #51: Only Pony Gaga knows when somepony has made de magicks!
    #52: Winter wrap up, because tomorrow spring is here.
    #53: The 80s will never die in Ponyville.
    #54: Always have insulin nearby when watching ponies.
    #54.5: Make sure you have sugar nearby as well.
    #55: Luna is faking it; she's never alone. She's tricking you. It's a trap! Run, everypony!
    #56: Princess Molestia enjoys watching you clop. Rainbow Dash too on prime numbered days.
    #57: Celestia does so enjoy planning executions. Don't try and stop her or it'll be yours.
    #58: Take a drink every time the show title drops.
    #59: AEIOU
    #59.5: You are laughing for real right now.
    #60: The original video was about the moon. Therefore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a realistic representation of Luna's 1000 year entrapment.
    #61: Fluttershy sings better than you, so does Rarity.
    #62: Pinkie pie sings louder than you, so does Sweetie Belle.
    #63: Somepony already made guy versions of the mane cast, please make more.
    #64: Butterscotch has made you consider being a colt cuddler no exceptions, by butterscotch I mean the /rp/ one.
    #65: Applejack is always relevant.
    #66: Twilight has already read about it in a book.
    #67: No matter how hard the CMC try, they won't get their cutie marks.
    #68: All rules relating to tyrant Celestia are disputed.
    #69: Scootabuse is NOT permited.
    #70: Derpy is the muffin.
    #71: Derpy speaks in a Cockney accent.
  1. 72: muffins are delicious.
  1. 73: The parasprites ate rule 72. Didn't I tell you this would happen? ITS MUFFINS CELESTIA DAMMIT.
    #74: Derpy has already emptied your fridge, and may have been the eater of 72 also.
    #75: Derpy is the best mom this side of Equestria
  1. 76: Don't start mudfest and flankhurt topics.
    #TOOT: TOOT
    #Wait: What the heck comes after Toot?
    #APPLES: Why can't I hold all these rules?
    #OK Guys: No more rules that don't involve numbers.
    #77: If they are ponies, there is filly artwork of them. No exceptions.
    #78: The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't need to follow these silly rules.
    #79: No matter how hard you try you'll never be as cool as Knight Spike. But you can get close.
    #80: Any rule that is a non traditional number can be placed anywhere in the list,
    #81: You gotta shaaaaaaaaaare, you gotta caaaaaaare!
    #82: The writer for rule 81 was trapped in the moon for 1000 years.
    #83: The writer for rule 82 was given the elements of harmony.
    #84: Rules 82 and 83 are nonexistant. They were never there.
    #85: Everypony ships Lyra/Bonbon
    #86: tis rule isnt gramaticly correck for reson unonw
    #87: It's always party time. No exceptions.
    #88: Why not try a holiday in A-a-a-pplelooosa this year?
    #89: See the lovely Apple Orchards.
    #90: The Horse drawn Horse drawn carriages.
    #91: And many interesting furry animals.
    #92: Including the majestic buffalo.
    #93: A buffalo bit my sister once.
    #94: No really she was carving her initials into the Buffalo.
    #95: Apple pie solves all problems with buffalo. Try it.
    #96: We're sorry for the fault in rules 88-95, those responsible have been trampled by Rabbits.
    #97: Pinkie! careful with that pie!
    #98: We now verify the existence of rules 1-97 by giving a brohoof.
    #99: Everypony breaks rules 17-20 eventually.
    #99.5: I haven't broken rules 17-20
    #100: To the writer of rule 99.5, You will, you will.
    #101: Everybodypony will take the rules as seriously as they see fit.
    #102: This rule exists. Seriously, it does. It's right there.
    #103: The Grand Galloping Gala is a huge deal.
    #104: Most rules are not relevant. Then there are rules that are.
    #105: Pinkie Pie sense will help you realize the difference.
    #106 I refuse to use this "colon" of which you speak.:
    #107: OmygoshOmygoshOmygoshOmygoshOmygosh!
    #108: YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!
    #109: Philemina is a jerk.
    #110: Angel bunny is just a tough lover.
    #111: Celestia was here.
    #111.5: Celestia gets all gets.
    #112: Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend.
    #112.5: FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!
    #113: Taking baths with a toothless Aligator is good for the health.
    #114: Gummy is the best pet ever. No exceptions!
    #114.5: Angel is offended.
    #115: We typed all of this with our hooves.
    #116: What are you talking about? I used my unicorn magic.
    #117: axsd asd i asd a asdjklasdweu89sd./fd (this was typed with hooves).
    #118: I told you to stop arguing with me!
    #119: Fluttershy's sorry for all the arguing.
    #120: Pinkie's pinkie sense is always right, Never doubt it
    #121: The best way to fight your fears is to laugh at them.
    #122: Everyone gets down on Friday for more ponies, cus on that day I see my frens!
    #123: Pinkie is always watching.
    #124: The Ponytariat is the backbone of Equestria.
    #125: Those leaves of blue are not a joke.
    #126: She's not an evil enchantress! She's an alchemist. And she didn't have to lose an arm and a leg to do it.
    #127: You will DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW. No exceptions!
    #128: Applebloom just gave you diabeetus. Best death ever.
    #129: We do not talk about G3
    #130: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT G3
    #130.5: There was a G3?
  1. 130.75 There's a G3.5 too!
    #131: You will love Luna unrequitedly. You will make her feel better. It doesn't matter if she only appeared in two episodes, you love her anyway.
    #132: TL;DR, be nice to Luna.
    #133: Do not overwork Applejack or ponies will be catapulted onto your balcony.
    #134: Balconies can withold the weight of a tyrant.
    #135: Tyrants weigh more then they look, surprisingly
    Nope.avi: I can post word-based rules if I wanna.
    Nope.avi.5: User was swiftly banned for this rule.
    #136: Fluttershy is everyone's waifu. Don't hog her to yourself.
    #137: You wish you lived in Equestria. Admit it.
    #138: For the last time! Scootaloo is not Rainbow Dash's sister!
    #138.5: But a man can dream, can't he?
    #139: You will not fight back when Lauren Faust takes over the world. It's inevitable.
    #139.5: You will instead be one of her many folowers.
    #140: A pony is 25 pounds.
    #141: Doctor Whooves is more than one kind of pony. He regenerates, duh!
    #142: The Sonic Rainboom looks suspiciously like the Orbital Friendship Beam.
    #143: There is no such thing as too much pony.
    #144: Ponies are not vegetarians. It's a trap.
    #145: Doctor Whooves can time travel back to rule 1.
    #146: A Spider Man derail does not necessitate the death of a thread.
    #147: Any Raider's are to be treated with Love and Kindness, just like all other bronies.
    #148: There was a raid?
    #149: The writing of these rules was fueled by Rainbow Dash Energy Drink and peanut butter sandwiches.
    #150: Yes, Pinkie was an amish pony. This is exactly how Equestria was made.
    #150.5: Maybe on the way there I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark!
    #151: Angry Twilight evolves into rapidash.
    #152: Destiny is always a rock.
    #153: It's not "Pony Twitter", it's "Rainbowdash Network". And they're not "tweets", they're "dashes". Get it right.
    #154: A rock farm totally makes sense.
    #155: No talking on the Rock Farm!
    #156: No smiling on the Rock Farm!
    #157: But Pinkie wants to smile!
    #158: When presented with rule 157, refer to rule 150.
    #159: And thats how Equestria was made.
    #160: And they all lived happily (debatable) ever after. The end. We done guys?
    #161: Done? HA!
    #162: I knew it! Celestia will never be done with us.
    #163: The previous rule sounded kinky, and was edited.
    #164: I now completely honor Celestia. No I am not hypnotized; my eyes are naturally swirly.
    #165: Oh... I'm sorry, but... um... I think you're reading this in Fluttershy's voice. I hope you don't mind...
    #166: Oh perish the thought darling, I do hope your reading this is Rarity's voice.
    #167: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that you're reading this rule in Twilight's voice.
    #168: Aww, sugarcube, I just know yer readin' this in Applejack's voice!
    #169: So what if I'm reading this in Rainbow Dash's voice? You want to make something of it?
    #170: *GASP* Maybe we should throw a party for reading this in Pinkie Pie's voice!
    #171: Good news everypony, Professor Farnsworth's voice somehow found it's way into this mess.
    #172: Derpy is not stupid; it's an occular condition. She expects apology muffins.
    #173: Is Caramell Apple a girl or a guy? I can't tell any more.
    #174: Caramell has a twin sister that loves to make things akward for him.
    #175: Eeeeeeeeeyup
    #176: No mater how many rules we make Pinkie will never have to abide by them.
    #178: Hey guise, I jsut red a kul story cald "Cupkakes". U shud reed it!
    #178.5: Refer to rule 18.
    #179: A Zebra is fine too.
    #180: Grimdark is frowned upon, no exceptions.
    #181: Shipping... eh... so long as you use the appropriate buttons.
    #182: See rule 183
    #183: See rule 182 (refer to RULECEPTION)
    #184: You are now Applebloom (See rules 182 and 183).
    #185: There are rules? What is this I don't even... oh hi Pinkie Pie!
    #186: Drawfriends always deliver.
    #187: Though they may be gone a few days.
    #188: Attention horse!
    #189: You don't want to sleep, if you do you'll miss luna's beautiful moon!
    #190: If missing pictures of [INSERT PONY HERE], proceed to /pic/ and request.
    #191: If you've made it this far in the list you can no longer deny your broniehood. (If you found this list, it's too late.)
    #192: We are a Bronyhood. Not a Bronyship... nopony wants to see a bronyship thread.
    #192.5: Some ponies do.
    #193: It may seem impossible to convert them now. But give them time. Give them time.
    #SEE?: Told you!
    #194: Twilight Sparkle is the doozy; not some hydra.
    #195: All you really need to do is take a cup of flour, and add it to the mix.
    #196: Now just take something a little sweet not sour, a little bit of salt just a pinch.
    #197: C-c-c-combo breaker!
    #198 The baked good just went bad. See rules 195-197
    #199: You will be forever reminded by this list that you didn't get to write the rules; we did. You're still important, though. Sort of.
    #200: Oh look what time it is!
    #201: Trains are pulled by horses. This isn't redundant.
    #202: Writing this list is way more fun than it should be.
    #203: GO TO BED!
    #204: Given the choice between homework and ponies, please choose homework.
    #204.5: What you should do does not really matter, your're still going to choose ponies.
    #205: If you want, the mods can ban send you to study hall so you can get your homework done.
    #206: Any breaking of Pinkie will result in a broken Pinkie, nopony knows the consequences, you have been warned.
    #207: Holy manure that's a lot of rules!
    #208: All rules are easy to follow, you don't even have to know they exist to follow them.
    #209: The ten /b/rony commandments will suffice in a pinch.
    #999: The Mare in the Moon is just an old pony's tale.
    #1000: OH SHIT! NIGHTMARE MOON'S ESCAPED!
    #210: All rules will remain in place until revision after Season 2.
    #210.5: Yes, this comes after rules 999 and 1000 for a reason. Think about it.
    #211: All OC's are Sues.
    #211.5: Therefore, Ember Storm is a Sue.
    #222 Celestia get.
  1. 223: You know the rules, and so do I.
    #9001: Friendship is magic, no exceptions.
    #90001: The Brony Mumble is ALWAYS right. No exceptions. Ever. ForEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR!
    #90002: Fluttershy will shake your keys.
    #90003: Always a good time to drink your own piss.
    #BTW: These are rules, no exceptions.

90% of these rules are written by: The Little Knoll, Name is Fame, Triscy, Glitterface, Motoast, Freightrain.
With special help from the friends at Ponychan and the rest of the interwebs.

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